Dr. Meinheimer (2011)
Dr. Meinheimer 2011 was the fourth Dr. Meinheimer event, held on November 26, 2011. The show was highlighted by Carlito defending the WWE Championship against Disco Drew and Rob Van Dam in a Triple Threat match, Perfect Ben putting the World Heavyweight Championship on the line against Al Snow, and Team WPW facing off against Team Slam Jam (thank you ma'am) in Dr. Meinheimer elimination tag team match. __TOC__ Background Since all three top contenders had a claim to getting a title shot at Dr. Meinheimer, Commissioner Slaughter came to the conclusion that Ultimate Warrior, Disco King, and RVD would all draw straws. Whoever wound up with the short straw would not be receiving a WWE title match against Carlito, while the other two would go on to face him in a Triple Threat match. As it turned out, the Warriors were not with the Ultimate One as he drew the short straw. In response to this, he shook the short straw as if it were a ring rope and claimed that "Thanks is given every day, but especially at Dr. Meinheimer!" Regardless of his incoherent ramblings, Disco Drew and Rob Van Dam will take on Carlito with the the WWE title on the line at Dr. Meinheimer. Perfect Ben's locker room was broken in to and vandalized by an unknown culprit. Ben assembled the best bounty hunters in the galaxy, as well as Heidenreich, to hunt down whoever committed this act. After receiving an anonymous note this past week offering him head, Perfect Ben headed to the location his apparent secret admirer had designated. However, when he entered the room he discovered a man in a bear suit blowing a butler. Just then, Perfect Ben was knocked senseless with a mannequin head. Only two people in the world use such a weapon: Disgruntled JC Penny's employees...and Al Snow. As it would appear, Perfect Ben will be defending his title against the latter at Dr. Meinheimer. The rivalry between Bret Hart and Walter P. Wiley has been raging on since December of last year. In this be all, end all contest, Bret has compiled Team Slam Jam (thank you ma'am) to take on Team WPW. Walter made sure that Count Out would not be featured on his team, as he has a tendency to get counted out in these types of matches. Dark Dynamite Derek just can't seem to get Rey Mysterio to put him over. And to make matters worse, The Big Show has been beating him with a single punch all summer long as well. Derek is fed up, and has assembled Team Butthurt to take on Team Guaranteed To Win This Match in a traditional Dr. Meinheimer Tag Team Elimination match. John Cena and Coach D have been bickering all summer after John refused to get dressed in regulation PE clothes. At Dr. Meinheimer, this dispute will be resolved once and for all. If Team D-Machine wins, Cena will have to relinquish his degree in Thuganomics. However, if Team Cenation wins, Coach D will have to undress in front of everyone. On behalf of the SvR06 Commission, we sincerely hope Team D-Machine wins. In one of many traditional Dr. Meinheimer tag team matches of the evening, Winslow J. Wiley will lead a team of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and The Ultimate Warrior to take on rivals DCR, JBL, and J-Pac. Winslow has been itching to get back at DCR and JBL since the death of his lovable sidekick Orlando Jordan, and Stone Cold just likes to beat up on the little guy. Nobody is quite sure what significance Ultimate Warrior or J-Pac have to the back story of this match, but that's the beauty of Dr. Meinheimer. Results The fourth Dr. Meinheimer event was laden with much controversy. Why did Rey Mysterio get his entire team disqualified? Why did the referee count the three on Bret even though his shoulder was clearly up? Why, oh why, do we have to see Coach D undress?! In the end, we saw two champions retain, a money-grubbing team get what was coming to them, and even saw the return of former champion DEFAULT. Turns out Al Snow wasn't referring to himself, Head, or oral sex when he inquired "What does everybody want?"